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Yuichi Mendez


           A few days ago, somebody decided to fuck with Satanic Hot Pocket. They didn't do much; just a stupid little banner on the front page. Anybody who's been to this site since them has probably seen it.
           Needless to say, at first I was worried. "Shit! Somebody broke into my site? Damn. I'd better tell Pyro (the guy who actually hosts SHP)". Well, it turns out Pyro was the one who did it in the first place. He was bored and he decided to have some fun with me. Okay. Whatever, that's cool. All in fun.
           In fact, I'd like to thank him. Because it brings up some good points. "Scum bag cum guzzling whore, sell out 'deuchbag' lesbian slut". Aside from the misspelling of the word "douchbag," what's wrong with any of that? Let's examine it piece by crude, vulgar piece.

Scum Bag

           There really isn't a way to defend this one. "Scum bag" is a true, genuine insult and a bad thing to be. Next.

Cum Guzzling

           To each his or her own. We here at WM support taking your sexuality to whatever level it needs to go in order to be fulfilled, just so long as it doesn't make someone else unable to pursue their own pleasure, sexual or otherwise. Basically we support all sexuality with the exception of rape, bestiality, necrophilia and child molestation. The only reason we condemn sex with animals, corpses or children under 15 is because there's no way for any of the above to really give consent. But so long as everyone involved can and does consent to whatever's going on, there's no problem with it. So if it makes you both happy, drink up. Next.

Whore

           This is a tough one. I've made the distinction between "whore" and "slut" before, in fact labeling the two opposites. A slut just loves sex. Period. Sluts are more in control of themselves than whores. Sluts are mistresses of sex, in control of themselves and what they do. A whore, on the other hand, is desperate for sex, and often will do anything for it. A slut has standards and is fundamentally free, while a whore is a slave to her own sexuality, addicted to sex the way someone else may be addicted to tobacco or cocaine. Next.

Sell Out
           I find it disgusting the way that the term "sell out" is flung around these days. To sell out means to become a media whore and abandon honor and true art in favor of commercialism. Did Metallica sell out when they made their first video? This brings up an interesting debate. On one hand, by breaking their promise not to make a video, they sold out. On the other hand, the video aspect of their body of work in some cases greatly complements the audio aspect, and alot can be done artisitically with a video. Take Enter Sandman or Unforgiven. Even Frantic isn't a bad video, and they certainly all lend themselves to the overall feel of the songs. The truth is, certain sacrifices need to be made to keep any type of art alive, be it breaking a promise or changing your appearance a bit. Some painters cut themselves so they can paint in blood, some actors starve themselves (or, conversely, eat like a mother fucker) so they can play the role of a skinny or fat person. Sometimes musicians need to do things they otherwise wouldn't in order to bring their visions into being.
           Also, who's to say that an artist, writer or musician is selling out and isn't just genuinely shifting their artistic vision? When I listen to new music by System of a Down, I'm quick to assume that they've sold out, being that their recent body of work has been much more personal, almost Emo, rather than the social and political music we've come to know and love. True, it's very suspicious that when Emo is at the height of its popularity SOAD comes out with Mezmerize. But there is also the chance that their artistic vision had really just become more personal and introspective. In that case, Mezmerize and its sister album Hypnotize still suck, but I can't honestly say that System of a Down sold out. And, to their credit, I'll admit that the song Lonely Day is halfway catchy. Next.

"Deuchbag" (Douchebag)
           Douchebags get pussy. And people who use the term "douchebag" as an insult are usually assholes anyway. Next.

Lesbian
           Next.

Slut
           I like sluts. It's whores that piss me off.

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